I'm not feeling that good. I don't know man, its just that, why is it so hard to be different? Its like being different is not one of the options i have. Okay, maybe i'm just using it as an excuse to cover up something that i can never achieve, but i'm starting to like this difference i have okay. Its not that i don't want to be a high-achiever, i just feel that i can live without it. It wouldn't bring me eternal glory, and i've been through something very close to it, but i really really didn't enjoy it at all. It just brought me more worries and more goals that i have to reach. Its really not like what it should be like for me. It doesn't motivate me to do more. Maybe i'm really different, i'm not as capable as anyone of you. You know what, i can live with all these, i just don't want you to degrade me like as if its something i should mourn about. Just let me walk the roads i want to walk, have to walk. Even if you don't support, just be ignorant, at least pretend. All those awkward silences and stares won't help me where i am now. I've never thought it was fair to me, trying to gain all of your approval and acknowledge my whole life. But you know what, i want to start living everyday for a different purpose now. I seriously think i have a split personality. When i go to school, I have so much confidence, but when i'm back there, all the confidence vanishes, and i'm just left with being a small, insignificant thing that needs to earn her recognition. You always say its good enough when you've tried your best. But is it? Whenever i'm there everything i've worked for, everything i am disappears in a flash. Yeah its true maybe i'm not good enough to be one of you guys, but you know what. I'll love myself, i'll still love myself. I will not allow myself to feel so extremely lousy around all of you.